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[31 Aug 2007|12:26am] |
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paramore - misery business |
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Today was my last day ever at Handel's. It felt so surreal, to have been working there for over 2 years and now I'm actually done. I won't be scooping ice cream ever again. Just feels so weird.
I drove up to Kent today with Sam, Megan, and Sasan for Becca's birthday! We hung around, then went out to dinner, then hung around for a while until Casey, Joe, Vinny, and Mike came later. It was actually a really good time.
I don't know whether or not to move in early at Ohio State. Such a tough dilemma. I don't really know what to do...
I'm so happy that so many of my friends are coming home this weekend! Except, Dan basically leaves today and Jamie leaves on Saturday... =/
Canfield Fair time again. Will I be going this year? I actually hope so.
That's pretty much all for now. Livejournal is such a waste.
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[22 Aug 2007|02:36pm] |
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rogue wave - publish my love |
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I saw "Superbad" last friday. What an amazingly funny movie -- I suggest you go see it.
I also quit Handels and am so happy about that. My last day is next sunday.
I slept over Becca's the other night and helped her pack and we watched the lizzie mcguire movie. Gotta love it.
All the girls for Kent and Pitt left yesterday and today. I'm gonna miss them. =(
Went to see "Disturbia" yesterday -- really really good movie. Then we went to wing night, then to sam's house.
Sasan is home!! He came to sam's and we were all waiting for him in the driveway. So excited.
I pretty much work everyday for the rest of this week. I want to kill myself. What a wonderful last week.
I got my housing assignments and my roommate yesterday! Her name is Lindsey, she's from the Dayton area, and she seems really really nice. I'm glad -- I hope we get along. =]
Things are going to be really weird from here on out. A good portion of our friends have already left, and even more are leaving in a few days' time. I mean, it's not like we've been together every day since we met each other, but it just feels strange. I think you know what I mean.
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[15 Aug 2007|03:11pm] |
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david bowie/queen - under pressure |
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Today is the 15th of August, and it is also the day that some of my friends left for college. It's such a weird feeling, knowing that I won't get a chance to see them for a while, and summer is still in motion for me. I have a month left. But I feel that in a couple of weeks, it won't feel like summer anymore since most of them will be gone. It was only 2 days ago that we were swimming in my pool all afternoon followed by bonfires and good times. But then again, it feels like just yesterday we were all 16 and playing Capture The Flag at Sam's house.
I hope... a lot of things. But I think that I hope most that I don't lose touch with any of those people who had a true impact on me the last 4 years. I hope that whole "you meet your true friends in college" thing was for my parents' generation, not mine. And I hope everyone the best, whether we still talk or not.
Truly yours,
Dark Fox [haah]
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[13 Aug 2007|01:00am] |
Everything has been feeling weird lately. The first of my friends are leaving on Wednesday and it's just an indescribable feeling. It's a mix of that excited/nervous/anxious feeling to go to college myself, and that sad/nostalgic feeling I get when I think of how things probably won't be the same ever again.
There are quite a few songs that I can't listen to because they remind me of a time period or a person or an event that happened long ago. I put them all onto a cd and maybe one day I'll be able to listen to it. I just figured I'd do it so I could remember one day.
I think I may want to date someone who's on the Geek Squad at Best Buy one day. I'm not thinking of anyone in particular, but can't you imagine a really hot and nerdy boy who's smarter than most yet still ridiculously attractive? He just won't be the one who drives the little VW beetle around.
Things feel good. I do what I need to do and life goes on. And I guess that's what living is all about.
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| When everything else is gone. |
[07 Aug 2007|12:54am] |
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incubus - dig |
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Last night, Katie came to see me at work. In the pouring rain. So I brought her a pint of ice cream afterwards for the both of us and went over to her house. We talked and facebooked and all that good stuff. =]
Today, Danielle took Sam and I to her grandparents' lake house at Lake Milton. We had so much fun - swimming by the dock, eating a whooole lot of junk, and going for a boat ride around the lake. Loved it.
Summer feels like it's almost over since a bunch of people I would still like to hang out with until September are leaving in a week [and the next week, also]. Summer just flew. Last thing I remember, I was all partied out from graduation parties, I went to Italy, and came home expecting an amazing last summer here. Don't get me wrong, it's been fun, but where did it go? I can't really remember that last 30 days very well. And in another 30 days, I'll be a Buckeye.
The older you are, the faster things go. And I wish that wasn't true.
I wish they all weren't leaving so soon.
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[01 Aug 2007|05:05pm] |
When Bob Dylan said "the times they are a changin", he must've been talking about my 18th summer.
So let's just have some fun while we still can.
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[30 Jul 2007|01:13am] |
Handels picnic at Lake Berlin tomorrow.
I'm pretty excited. I can't wait.
You know what?
There isn't much of anything else to say.
I have nothing else to say.
Hah I'm speechless.
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[25 Jul 2007|03:26pm] |
I got home from Orientation at OSU yesterday in the latter of the afternoon.
It was awesome, to say in the least. 2 days worth of it.
I met so many people, who plan to keep in touch, and it was a lot of fun.
As childish as that may sound. haha
Now that's a true story. =]
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[19 Jul 2007|01:09am] |
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dishwalla - somewhere in the middle |
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Summer is crazy. It's summer.
Last week a bunch of us went to the drive-in movie.
I've wanted to do that for so long. I loved it.
Going back soon for sure. On another clear night.
Warm days and fun nights. What more could you ask for?
Sometimes I wonder how much I have changed in the past few years.
You can easily recognize change in others more than in yourself.
And I wonder if it's been for better or for worse.
I ventured into the woods today because I felt like it.
I usually think about things like when the footbridge will finally crash [51 years old].
Or when the creek will finally stop flowing since it gets more shallow each summer.
I joined the summer orchestra today with Becca and Sammy.
I haven't played in a month and it was hard to keep up at first.
I wonder what a year will do. I wonder what a year will do to me.
PS. I was woken up this morning, fairly early, by 2 boys.
I miss when they weren't messed up on pot.
PPS. I really wish summer wasn't going by this fast.
Faster than all of the others. 13 is so slow compared to 18.
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| the way we were |
[12 Jul 2007|04:41pm] |
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the great escape - boys like girls |
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I miss a lot of things. If I had a nickel everytime I missed something...
I wonder if that will ever change about me. Like if it just goes along with immaturity.
Or if it's really just who I am. And I just can't shake that?
I miss people. I miss things that used to happen.
I miss summers. I miss everything. haha And I usually end up laughing at myself.
Tomorrow I have to babysit my grandma.
Maybe she'll teach me how to play cards [again].
Since, evidently, I forgot how to do that.
Then I get to see Briana. =]
I have to go back to work next week. Not fun.
I wish I could just quit now. I don't know what's stopping me.
It used to be such a fun job with such fun people.
Never about the money. Just the people and the atmosphere.
Becca persuaded me to join bosco with her. The summer orchestra.
Lately, I've been worried about that whole "use it or lose it" saying.
I don't want to lose my ability to play cello/read music or speak/understand italian.
Which is why I can see myself doing both of those in college.
Speaking of college, I'm pretty sure I'll be changing my major within my first quarter.
I don't know what made me choose psychology, but it's definitely not my passion.
I'm not quite sure what my passion is, but I'm sure I'll find it.
I don't know why I just decided to pour out my mind into my livejournal.
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[10 Jul 2007|04:01pm] |
I don't feel the need to update anymore.
It's finally summer for me and it's about time.
I've been in my pool everyday the past 3 days in a row.
I would say I'm getting pretty tan. Getting there.
One of my best friends left for college 2 days ago.
It was pretty hard to say goodbye, even though I'll see her on the weekends.
I keep imagining myself leaving for college. It's crazy.
At one point in time, that day seemed like it would never come.
Being that point in time was probably 6 years ago.
Last night we went to Mill Creek Park. =]
Tonight is wing night at ysg, then I'm going to see Harry Potter.
There are so many things I have to do this week.
Write my grad party thank you's. Clean my room.
Take my math placement test online.
Only 3 I can think of. Greeat.
This may be it for a little while.
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[08 Jul 2007|12:47am] |
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Tomorrow's going to be a sad day.
But imagining that that'll be me in 2 months..
Makes me completely anxious/scared/everything.
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[06 Jul 2007|03:08pm] |
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muse - starlight |
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I love Italia.
I saw Benny.
I went to the places I always dreamed of going.
I saw the world [or so I think].
I took around 300 pictures.
The past 10 days have been amazing.
But the next 2 are going to be... interesting.
Non toccare, gypsy. =]
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[25 Jun 2007|01:41pm] |
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leaving on a jet plane - jewel |
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I'm leaving for Italy tomorrow morning. I think I'm getting more and more excited for it.
I got food poisening on Saturday night and the past 36 hours have been pure hell.
I basically had to drag myself out of bed to go to Sammy's piano recital.
Which was, as expected, completely amazing. There is no doubt about that.
I'm feeling much much better now. But I won't be eating banquet food for a very long time.
So today is dedicated to packing. Which I really am not looking foward to.
I wish I had gotten at least a little bit done so I could go out today. This is worse than Nationals.
The last time I went on vacation, things had changed when I got home. Drastically.
Not trying to sound dramatic, it's just that's crazy. haha
I'll see you all in July. That's so long from now.
I'm going to Italy. I'm going to Venice. That's my dream.
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[23 Jun 2007|02:26am] |
I saw Benny tonight when she came "home".
Sam and I stayed out until roughly 1 in the morning.
We got to see her and talk to her for a bit. =]
I'll be seeing her this time next week, and I can't wait.
She leaves for Italy tomorrow morning.
I wish she wasn't leaving. I really wish she stayed.
I wore a dress today. No tights [ew]. But I actually wore a dress.
Becca Albani should be proud of me. haha
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[22 Jun 2007|01:02am] |
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ryan adams - when the stars go blue |
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I talked to Benny today for about 5 minutes. I really miss her.
I saw my first shooting star tonight. It wasn't a special moment.
But that was okay with me. It was so incredible.
I forgot to make a wish, though. I want to kick myself.
I spent a lot of time with Alyssa today and I loved it.
It made me miss hanging out with her since I used to all the time.
Earlier today, I was so excited for college. I was ready.
Now, I'm back to the usual. Basically wanting to not think about it.
Packing up my room and my life is going to be hard.
Note to self: buy my kids a trampoline one day.
And make sure I live somewhere without street lights.
You used to love stars as much as I did. Crazy.
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| There will be no regrets. |
[20 Jun 2007|11:26pm] |
Tonight included left-overs at Briana's, ice cream, a grad party, then the best walk of my life. Except not really. haha Sam, Ernie, and I went over Becca's and the 4 of us walked to Megan's house right at dusk just to pop in and say hi, then we walked back. The stars and the moon were out and there were no street lights. That is the best.
I think I've figured out the ridiculous reason as to why I'm not as excited for Italy as the others are. Firstly, I know I'm going to annoy people, some more than others. And while that doesn't really bother me when I'm home, I'll be in Italy with 4 or 5 of my friends, and if one practically doesn't like me and I annoy the others, it'll get a bit rough. And secondly, as soon as we come home, Briana is leaving. It hits me harder each day and I think I'm finally realizing that she's leaving home and starting a new life while the rest of us are just getting into summer mode. Even though she's just a phone call away [or an hour's drive], she's the first of many and that's insane. It's too soon.
3 more days of graduation parties and then grad party season is over. Crraaazzzyy.
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[20 Jun 2007|01:09am] |
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zero 7 - destiny |
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The flashbacks have been crazy lately.
I'm even renting a movie tomorrow that was released that August.
If they're bad now, I wonder what will happen when I'm in college.
When I won't be able to listen to a cd. Or look at a photo album.
College pretty much scares the shit out of me. Hands down.
What a good, positive attitude I have.
I'll be in Italy this time next week and it hasn't hit me yet.
Because, if it had, I'd be running around screaming in excitement.
Why can't things hit me when they're supposed to?!
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[19 Jun 2007|01:56am] |
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Today was my graduation party, and although the preparation was madness, it turned out great. We set up at the Georgetown in the early afternoon and everything looked pretty amazing I think. And the food was delicious. I got the award for best green beans [and some people even said pasta, too!] hahah Afterwards, many of us came back to my house to swim and hang out, tiki torches and all.
I work tomorrow morning and I really don't want to. To be honest, all I really want to do is open my card box, open my cards and write out all of the thank you's. But I have to work until 4, and then Briana's grad party is at 6.
By the way, I'm going to Italy next week. Tuesday to be exact. Did you remember? Because I actually keep forgetting. [what?!]
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| I won't remember. |
[18 Jun 2007|12:40am] |
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filter - take a picture |
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Quick recap. Saturday there were many graduation parties and they all were very nice. I had 7 to go to, but only went to 5. The night ended with us at Craig's party, hanging out with his family and such, then a bunch of us sleeping over. Went to sleep at 3 am, woke up at 10. Brilliant. But it was a lot of fun.
Father's Day today. My dad got presents/cards, a pie from Handels, and my mom and I cut the lawn for him. Yes, I cut my entire backyard and half of the front. Crazy? Maybe to you.
Tomorrow is my graduation party. I'm excited, but at the same time, I'm not. I think it's going to royally suck ass, but I think that about a lot of things. And also, why am I not incredibly excited for Italy? I never was to begin with, and even though it's now in roughly a week, my emotions towards it hasn't changed.
I am getting so annoyed with the fact that no one ever listens to what I have to say. Yes, people hear me talk. That is why they are constantly telling me to shut up. But not many people actually listen. I'll admit that half the time, I'm saying something stupid. I am Lauren. I say incredibly stupid shit. But I do have good, meaningful things to say sometimes, and no one listens to it. It's sad to say that no one - friends, family, even best friends - have never really backed me up [so to say] when someone has made me look like a total idiot for either saying something or doing something. This has all been really bothering me lately.
I guess I am also in a weird mood because, lately, there have been so many things that I wish I could change, but know that I can't. I feel so powerless, even with my own life. I am in a nothing period. This isn't summer. We are currently in graduation party season and then there is a break period [consisting of a few weeks] before everyone starts to leave for college and that's the end of childhood and dependency.
Whenever I write entries like this, I notice that I have this look on my face like that of Meg Ryan's in just about all of her movies You know that look. She does it everywhere and she basically coined it. I find myself doing that a lot, not on purpose, and I have no idea why. I wonder if her characters are supposedly thinking similar things to what I'm thinking when I make this face.
Sometimes I doubt that everything happens for a reason. It's not a question of faith or religion. I think of it more as a basic belief as to whether everything or some things or nothing have reason to them. During hard times, that belief keeps me going. I even convince myself it's true when I appear to be doubting it. Then that makes me wonder, did I convince myself of it a long time ago or do I truly believe it?
June 18th. Was it actually that long ago that I first ventured into life as we all know it? I can remember days like those perfectly, yet I can barely remember last week. My grandma does that a lot. She tells me stories, in detail, of the 20's and the 30's, yet she can't remember what my name is or what she had for breakfast that day. Some day, that will be me.
I wish my grandfathers could have at least seen me graduate, let alone get married. I was way too young. Just way too young.
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